Bless the ego
It is interesting to me how my mind loves to play games with me. I am talking about the ego mind. The one that has me equivocate, judging my value, my sense of self. “will I ever be good enough”? No, not according to my little ego mind. It seems that the job of this ego is to keep me from really going to the core and realizing who I am, and radiating from that place of love. The ego loves to compare, and judge, and will never be fulfilled. Yet, we humans were given this ego, and I do not believe as a punishment, but as something to work with.
When I was meditating this morning, thoughts poured in. Random thoughts that kept me from connecting. After about a half an hour, I finally settled in and was able to focus on my breath and go into my heart. (for a very short time)
My heart is still scared. It has been hurt, most of all by me, and will take some patients to bring it forth fully. I am patient about the important things, especially when I am centered, and my heart really wants to radiate. I just have to be patient with the part of me that wants wants wants. The one who craves outside validation, and who thinks it needs things to feign happiness, the one who does not have a clue about love, or how to relate to another.
I am just a beginner here, and I am feeling the energy of transformation, along with the awkwardness that comes with this.
I am opening, I have said this before, and I will say it again, probably many times, there are many layers to go through. I am going through. I do feel the radiance, and I see it around me too.
The ego can sure be tough though.
more on this I am sure……