arline jernigan

Well,  I’m leaving cleveland this morning.  Yesterday, Natalie, the girls and I went over to a friends house who also have children.  it was a very nice time.  The kids got to play and use up some of that very potent kid energy, (and I mean potent) , and natalie got some adult “girl” time, which is VERY needed in her world, and that’s all I will say on that.

 Today was the first time I took the chance to meditate.  I have gone to yoga classes, but this morning I got to do my own practice and meditate, which is different and wonderful.  In order to do this in a house with so much going on, you have to get up extremely early (easy for me, because that’s what I do),  but I got a big taste of how difficult it may be to take care of yourself  with children.  It takes a lot of organization, as well as flexability.  I don’t understand the magnitude of this, because I don’t have children, and my respect for those who do and raise them with love and conciousness is beyond words.

While I was meditating,  shapes and images passed from left to right,  there was this strange text that I could not decipher.  It was so beautiful and my feeling was was one of contentment.  I felt grounded, and expansive.  Then the thoughts of the weekend started to pour in.  I had a good time,  but I feel a sadness, because I don’t think my sister is completely happy.  I want happines and joy for her and for everyone  around her.  I am powerless to make that happen. 

Natalie I offer my love and support, and I send my heart filled energy to you, to Steve, to Jessica and Bayleigh, (hero,tiara, and kiwi too).  Everyone deserves to be happy,  though sometimes we have to work for it. I am here for what ever you may need.

Here is a hug,  a big giant hug. 

I love you

So far my trip has been great.  I have gotten much more sleep than I am used to getting, which has been good.  Sometimes you don’t realize how tired you are.  

 As soon as I woke up yesterday morning Bayligh, my younger neice and I had a dance party,  and then when Jessica woke up,  it turned into a dance contest.  Of course Jessica was the judge, and I won every time.  (little sisters never win in these things, sorry Bay.    Things got a little hectic, when a sibling squable broke out over one of the puppies (Tiara).   ”Oh no, what do I do,  I am not used to this sort of thing “, the poor thing was being grabbed by the limbs, and had a pitiful expression on her tiny little fox face,  tears broke out, and all of the fun we were having was temporarily forgotten.  Finally we all came to an agreement that Tiara might not like being pulled and tugged like that and we should probably let her go for a second  (wshoo), then jessica was called to get ready for school, not a popular thoght, and it was not met with out resistance, but she had a spelling test, and needed to be at school.

While Jess was at school,  we hung out at the house for a bit.  Steve (brother in law) took off work, and  we met Natalie for lunch,  (She didn’t want to go to work either). Bayligh loved being the only sister there, and put on quite a show.  The girl is like the energizer bunny.   After lunch we went  to the market for some produce,  then home.   It turnes out that Jessica made her way to the nurses office because of a stomach ache,  but the real issue was that she felt like she was missing out on some fun with aunt Bean.

 In the evening we went to the coffee shop where we talked about everyday heros and such,  we drew pictures on the magna doodle, and told each other what the drawing was about.   It was great.   Later at the home front,  there was a video and a pajama party.  I got to sleep in the middle, no question, and so our day ended in smiles (well mostly, as it was a very long day) 

I think today I am going to yoga first,  and then shopping is in the plan.  We shall see.  Jessica is a fashionista, and loves shopping. Baighly is a ball of energy, and is all over the place, so I don’t know.   More remains to be seen.

OOOOOP, I am being called appon,  so I must go see whats happining…

Friendship is important. My friends are people whom I value, trust, share things with, and grow with. When something does not feel right to me (what ever that means), I shudder. Yet everything changes, and sometimes change feels yucky even if that yuckiness leads to something more appropriate to the spirit. Without change there is no growth, and growth is also important to me.

In thinking about what it means to be a friend, I have to take care of myself in order to be clear. I at once have to come from a place of love, and actually see the the other person, giving the space that is needed. I have to accept what is right in front of me whether I like what I see or not, and I have to trust the other person is doing what they need to do for their own growth. This may not look as I think it should, I then have to return to my heart, love and value myself, and be my own friend.

Friendship is a process, which ebbs and flows, as do all relationships. I intend to be the best friend that I can, what ever that means, and more is being revealed all of the time. I know one thing is true, I have to get out of my way, because when I (ego) want things a certain way, I am not being a very good friend, I am not seeing the other person, and there is no love, only want and need.

I just had a very lovely visit with my parents and grand mommy. They were on their way home from visiting my sister Natalie who lives in Cleveland. It is kind of out of the way to go through Memphis to Oklahoma, but I was glad to see them none the less. First I gave them a tour of my house. Grand mommy had never seen my house before, and when dad and Barbara saw it last time, it was much different. I have done a lot of work to it, so it looks much better than it did before.

Next was finding a place to have lunch. This was interesting because I am vegan, and Barbara is on the Atkins diet (she seems to like it, and is loosing weight, so I keep my mouth shut), and finding a place to satisfy us both was not easy. We decided on the Beauty Shop, which is a very cool place. It used to be a beauty shop for real, and has since been converted into a restaurant. It is decorated funky, and has a lot of the old beauty shop equipment as part of the decor.

Now for a vegan, it is not the best place to eat, because your choice is a very small salad, almonds and a little bit of asparagus. That is alright though, I am surely not going to wither away.

I had resigned myself the the fact that we were going to have to go to graceland. My dad wanted to go,and had is heart set on it, but Barbara did not want to go, so we didn’t :). I kind of felt sorry for him though. No one seemed interested in my idea of going shopping, which I thought was a fabulous idea, oh well. We went downtown to the river instead and it was so nice. We just walked and enjoyed each other. Grand mommy was really truckin, she is so damn cute!!!!!!!!!, more present and sprightly than ever.

We drove around looking at houses, my old school, overton park, then home, just in time for me to get ready for my evening class.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself and my family, it was a great day.

People come and go, that’s just the way it is. I know this all too well. Being an air force brat I moved a lot in my life, every few years in fact. I made friends only to say goodbye, and so many of them I have never seen or heard from again. Sadly, I lost touch with some amazing people, and often wonder how and where they are.

In the last ten years or so, I have made some very incredible friendships. I have been able to connect with people in a way that when distance is an issue, it does not matter, because they are in my heart, and the friendship wont dissolve because we don’t see each other all of the time. (technology helps for sure)

Lucky me, I have good friends all over the country, west coast to the east, and places in between.

But today, I am sad. Two dear friends of mine moved this morning. The move is good for them, and necessary, but of course I will miss them terribly. We spent a lot of time together, and a very selfish part of me wants them to stay right here.

It is much easier to be the one who is leaving, at least it is for me anyway. Certainly there are many reasons for this, but I don’t want to go into them now.

I just want to say farewell to my friends that left today, and send my love. I also want to say how much I love all of my friends.

You mean so much to me, where ever you are.

I love you