arline jernigan

I don’t always remember my dreams, and usually they are quite abstract, this one was no different, but I can’t shake it.

It jumped from image to image, but the over all feeling was complete, and at once unfinished.

I was with someone, an old and unpredictable friend, and we were to make a journey. We had to go through water, and though the water was clear and beautiful, it had sharks in it. Obviously, I was not too excited to get in. My friend said “its safe, you just have to hold on to the black fin of the big one, and it will carry you”. I was dubious of his suggestion, as I had been led astray by this person so many times before, yet something told me that it was OK.

Before getting into the water, another friend appeared for a moment, and gave me six gold earrings, with jewels in them, and I was to put them in my right ear for protection and guidance. I was hesitant because usually I cant wear earrings, as the metal typically hurts my ears. I took them anyway, and put them along my outer ear, and they felt fine. I felt safe and grateful.

Back in the water, I was holding on to a black fin, when something else started circling around me. It then tried to tear into me. I was too shocked to be scared, and I heard the voice of my friend saying that there is no way that thing is going to get you. You are protected. As I relaxed, the monster faded away, and the journey continued.

I could not see my friend anymore, where was he.? I knew he was there, somewhere, but I was not able to focus on him, because my path, which was not quite clear in that moment, is what I was supposed to direct my attention to.

I must trust, is what I kept hearing.

This journey was timeless, and when I was finally out of the water, I had not arrived at any particular destination, again, it was abstract. The place I made it to was a collection of images which, were quite lovely, I saw lots of sheer fabric, in many shades of silver and grey, kind of like water. There was a comfortable breeze, and the fabric looked inviting. A few people were present, but had none had a face, or voice. Their presence was comforting though, and I knew I was not alone.

Again, where was my friend… Would I see him again? Do I want to? Questions unanswered.

Awake now, I have to wonder, was the dream an omen? Or am I just tapping in to something deep with in my heart and soul. My emotions are really heightened right now, and this dream seems pertinent. Oddly enough, I don’t analyze my dreams too much, but sometimes, I believe they carry messages, especially when I remember one, and can’t get it off my mind.

There is no danger in my way, I get that, but I sense that the undercurrent of my emotions have been dictating my life for quite sometime, and now are surfacing to release. I have to feel them, and move beyond them. That is an obvious reality to me, yet things things like this can not be forced.

I feel tearful right now, and my eyes are feeling a bit blurry, but at the same time, I feel peaceful and open. Things are flowing and I am choosing not to resist the beautiful paradox.

I have invited healing on many levels, and I am willing to swim with sharks if I it will help me to do this, because, the water is safe and beautiful, and I know I am protected and taken care of.

I had a very interesting dream last night. It started off rather disturbing, but shifted into something else completely.

In my dream, I was peacefully sleeping, and very comfortable. Then I was awakened by some voices. I could not move, I could not open my eyes, but I was fully conscious. Whomever these voices belonged to, took my covers and wrapped them around me so tightly, that if I were to wake up fully, I could not move. They spoke in a conversational tone, yet I could not understand what they were saying. Then there was laughter, and I knew that it was about me. I was trapped, and felt powerless. I did not know what was happening, and was finding it hard to breathe. Finally I lost consciousness and then passed out.

Next thing I remember, an extremely poisonous person appeared in front of me, wanting something. He wanted part of my soul, and was unrelenting in his demand for it. he tried many tactics, and at first I was very tempted to give myself over. Though something deep inside refused to let this happen. It was like a tornado of light came up from the deepest part of me, moved out, and surrounded me with this protection and insight.

He became angry and started to use some evil magic. Out of his chest came a horrible murky cloud, that carried a foul stench. It was full of rancor, and made me wretch.

I closed my eyes, fell into the most peaceful state, and I breathed this essence in, and somehow surrendered completely. The light inside and out was too much for the cloud, and it disappeared, then so did he.

After that, everything around me began to fall away, and I was left alone in this warm glow. I just lay there and embraced my freedom and peace, then it was only light.

I had a dream last night that he climbed through my window, it was very very late. He was crying, penitent for all of the sadness that he brought into my world. He professed his undying perennial love for me, and this left me feeling very confused.

At first I wanted to take care of him, to assuage his guilt and remorse, as well as believe him. At the same time there was a voice of a very angry woman in the background, screaming actually. She wanted peace, and was enraged that her sleep had been disrupted, and was not going to tolerate such flagrant disrespect. Then I looked to the boy, in a mans body, that was sitting next to me, and I detached. I saw things so clearly. There was no love here.

I told him that I appreciate his affection, but I would no longer be needing it. I told him that I want a higher love, from one that honors and respects, and whom I can honor and respect.

The tears turned into an ocean, and I was floating in it without a raft. He disappeared, and I was alone, but not scared, only unsure of where I was going in this open fluid expansive space.