I have not written in ages, not here anyway.

I have stopped feeling bad about it, because it does no good to lament.

I was so committed to this journal before, and really loved working on it. I am sure I will again, but right now, it seems I am filling the well and transitioning.

There are so many wonderful things happening in my world lately. Most of them are creative and teaching ventures, that deserve to be shared about.

I have a lot to write about for sure, and will, but I think it will happen when the website gets a reboot.
Hopefully that won’t be too long. I hope to be able to do more with this website all around, because right now, it feels a little stagnant.

Movement is happening though, I promise and I will be back here soon.

LOVE and HUGS
Arline

The other day, I was having a cool conversation with my dad. We talked about a few things rather light heartedly, and one of the things he said to me was. “We believe in some of the same things, but not in others, for example, you believe in karma and I don’t”. I said, “well, yes of course you do, karma, in its simplest sense is merely cause and effect”. There are countless examples of this, and I listed about eight of them off the top of my head. In the New Testament, for example, you will see karma described> “As we have sewn, so shall we reap.” In everyday vernacular, you will hear it as “what goes around comes around.” A visual example of karma would be a string of domino’s, and when one is barely pushed, a chain reaction happens, and the other domino’s sequentially fall. This image can become more elaborate as well. Imagine a whole city built of domino’s, and knocking that first one down. The whole city will be effected, even if it does not entirely fall to the ground.

There is nothing strange or weird about the term Karma. The word Karma means action. There are unskillful actions and skillful actions.

UNSKILLFUL ACTIONS include:
killing
lying
stealing
sexual misconduct
malice in speech
gossip

UNSKILLFUL MENTAL ACTIONS:
greed
envy
wishing harm
hate
ignorance
Self-delusion

SKILLFUL ACTIONS:
Compassion
generosity
humility
Cheerful attitude
kindness
honesty

It is quite useful to understand karma and how it affects us. Individual behavior patterns mirror universal patterns, which is why it is always a good idea to become super conscious of thoughts and behaviors. Consciousness is an aspect of our reality that differentiates us from other creatures, as we can navigate in a sense, through our life, and learn from what we have experienced before. In this, we can take responsibility of our reality, and not be a victim of it. We are not helpless prisoners of fate, destined to live out a birth script etched in stone. Instead, as humans, we have free will, which is our ability to make choices in life. We can choose to act virtuously or non virtuously, or not act at all.

Every time we think or act or speak on something, we are setting the stage for something else to occur. While this may seem obvious, we are often astounded that certain things seem to just “happen” to us over and over again. We are here in this world to experience life, and the situations that present themselves, are a reflection of karma. If unfavorable things happen in life, it is not necessarily “bad karma”, which is a term that many people these days love to use. Really there is no bad or good in the equation, just unskillful action and skillful action. Everything happens for a reason, and we cant always see why. Sometimes however the unwanted things that happen, can be amazing teachers that can pave the way to new and wonderful territory. Attitudes and conscious choice determine so much more than we know, and can provide incentive to take responsibility within the framework of life.

Karma and free will, work closely together, consequently, skillful actions produce favorable results, and unskillful actions produce unfavorable results. It really can be that simple.

Time is not a factor here however, meaning, that there is no way to determine precisely how and when things will fall into place. Some things happen instantly, while other things happen at a snails pace. Often we can see directly how a sequence of events lead up to a particular circumstance, but at times a very close and thorough examination needs to be taken, where all angles and levels are thought of and explored.

Karma can be, and is meant to be worked through through. Everyone, even the most corrupt has the chance to change and can reform themselves at any point. By acting virtuously and practicing loving kindness, compassion, humility, honesty and a cheerful attitude, old patterns will eventually be absolved. It is also thought that sometimes, through grace of divine authority, unfavorable karma may be forgiven, or taken on by another soul.

In the Christian view, it is believed that Jeasus took on the collective sins of humanity as he died. There are other stories of spiritual teachers, that to foster another persons spiritual growth, will “take on” portions of his or her karma much in the same way.

In Hindu and Buddhist teachings, karma is broken down like this>

SANCHITA KARMA (past karma) : it is the accumulation of karma from past situations, even before birth that set in motion a persons possible experiences.

PARABAHDA KARMA(present karma) : karma that is happening at the present moment, it works off past karma and sets the stage for future karma.

AGAMI KARMA(future karma) karma that is acquired in the present that will come to fruition in the future.

KRIYA MANA KARMA(now) instant results from present actions, for example if you slap someone, they just might slap you back.

Moving through karma is a personal choice, so getting clear on what you want your life to be like, will help you move with intelligence, and will ease the cycle of repeated patterns.

It has been raining for quite a while now. It has been beautiful in moments, having a respite here and there, to give a moment for the sun to express itself and to say, in its warm tacit way, “take a breath, there is more to clean here.”

The air does smell sweet right now, and there is a lot of growth potential. There is a lot of beauty and growing, and even the weeds look lush in moments.

My back yard needs tending in a very big way. I fee a little overwhelmed by this, as there is some major cleaning to do. I will have to either invest in some tools and go into the project with random knowledge of how to deal with my mess, or I will have to get help. I could do both, and probably will. I have this tendency to think that I have to work really hard, in every way shape and form, and then feel exhausted, because rather than cultivating and enhancing I want to upheave and fix what ever it is that I believe is ugly or ineffective, right this minute.

This way of thinking leads to procrastination, because I simply cant fix everything, not in the way I would have it to be at any rate, which is beyond perfection.

I have decided that for today, there is nothing to “fix”, and that things are beautiful as they are.
I am alive and breathing, and for that I am grateful.

It is getting late, and I should head up to bed, but I wanted to put some energy into my journal.

So… More later, with the journal and with other parts of this website. It is getting ready to be revamped, like my yard.

love and hugs
Arline

Dublin was wonderful. Well, I was not actually in Dublin, but just south of it in a lovely village called Dalkey. I loved it. It is literally inches from the Irish sea, and when the sun shines, the view is incredible. The sun shined a lot of the time that I was there, so I was lucky to see it.

The people there were wonderful too, very open, receptive and kind. I look forward to going back to them. It makes me happy to share what I love to new bodies, as well as to those who have been with me for a long time.

Travel is going to be more regular with me I think, because that is what my heart is telling me. My home base is still here in Memphis for now. I love my people here, and have no imminent plans of leaving, but my wings are expanding, and am going to spread my energy and love where I can.

It is interesting to me, what being in a foreign place is like, and how it can beautifully take you our of your of habits. Much of the time, we go through the day, and forget to see where we are, and what we have. We can even loose sight, and forget why we do what we do. It is good to be snapped out of your comfort zone now and then. I find when I return to my home, I have a renewed appreciation, and am recharged somehow.

It is also interesting to me, where fear can crop up, and how something benign can bring on a panic state. While I was in Ireland, I had no cellphone service. I still cant get over how much I rely on electronics (at one time I was NEVER going to have a computer, HA). Now, I am grateful for them, as they make life expansive in many ways, but I still shake my head sometimes at this reliance. It was weird, not being able to use my phone on a whim, or when I actually needed to.

I was supposed to go to an exhibit with my new friend Dee. She was initially going to pick me up from where I was staying, and we would venture out. Plans change sometimes, and this is not a big deal, but I was taken by surprise when she called the house and asked me to meet her by taking one of the public transport systems, called the DART. I took a deep breath and said OK, but inside my heart stopped. Typically my fear shows up in situations when I am in a new environment, where I don’t know where I am. I really freak out inside. Once I am comfortable and have a feel for a place, all is well, but sometimes it can take some time (there is no time like the present). The DART station is about a 10 minute walk from where I was staying, and It was pulling up just as I purchased my ticket, my time was short. I was supposed to get into the last car and she would meet me in the car. Well, things got a little confused, because everything is opposite of what I am used to. For example, the driver side of the car is on the right side instead of the left, so I was not sure what was first and last in terms of the DART cars, not to mention, that I only had a few seconds to run into the closing doors. At this time Dee was not sure what had happened, because she did not see me in the car. I got off at the street that she told me to get off on, incase something happened, and I waited for a while. I found a pay phone, and called her cell, but I got no answer. I did not know where the museum was, or I would have gone there, so I just got another ticket and set out to go back to Dalkey, but, I did wait for about 20 minutes or so, to see if I could find her, and as it turned out, we both just missed each other by minutes. She was looking, calling and waiting for me too, but alas, no connection.

This situation was a great opportunity for me to practice yoga off the matt. I focused on my breath, and looked at my situation with humor. I was not really that lost, only slightly separated, and I was able to ask for the direction that I needed to head to, and as I said, I was not that far off track. I was actually able to relax, and enjoy the experience of being out of my comfort zone. Now while this seems simple, and not a big deal, it is to me. I somehow feel stronger and more able to venture out.

I want to thank Dee and Heidi once again for bringing me to Ireland, and to also thank all the wonderful students who came to my workshop. I am excited to return very soon.

Big hugs to all of you

Love Arline

This whole time period is a trip! I feel a billion things swirling around, and I am acting on faith like never before.

The energy around me is palpable and eery, yet somehow I feel safe and calm.

Its funny, the moment I relax, things just flow, and I can move with the grace I desire.

This does not always come naturally for me. Last week in fact, I wanted to hide under the covers for all of eternity, because I felt so overwhelmed. As dramatic as that sounds, it is true. Well, that is part of my process anyway.

I am learning on deep levels, to relax into this process, with help that is. See, I have wonderful people in my world, and great teachers that guide and inspire me. The teachers are everywhere, and so is the light.

With so much that is happening in the world around me, and how it taps into my own matrix of thoughts and feelings, overwhelm is natural sometimes. Making friends with this, and all the other things I see as unfavorable is essential.

I choose to see the abundance and glory in life, even when the discursive thoughts and fear want to bombard me, and even when I see and feel the energy of others fear.

As a whole, and on a very large scale, probably much larger than anyone of us can comprehend, we are reorganizing.

Our nation is being asked to do things differently, and while the change is necessary, and for the most part welcome, there is extreme discomfort around this. It is important to speak to that discomfort and fear, while at once drawing on the faith that change is ultimately for the highest and best cause. The way things were may have worked well at one time, but no longer do, that is evident in all directions.

In the end though, and as always, I have to bring the focus of change back to myself, because myself is the only thing I can change. This is not a new concept at all, but while I know this, I still want things to be a certain way, so being the control freak that I can be, I will sometimes try to make things happen. Usually this approach is laced with friction and obstacles that can leave me frustrated.

It is in the trying to “make things happen”, where resistance to what is really necessary for me and my well being, causes pain and frustration. That does not mean that intentions and goals should not be striven for, but I am coming to find, that the more relaxed I am in terms of outcome, the more that opens up to me. I have been totally amazed and in awe in the moments I can actually chill out with things, and have an open hand instead of a tight fist.

I’m learning, but I really don’t know the first thing about “letting go”. I talk about it constantly in my classes though, and teach techniques via the body and the breath, that are geared towards surrender, but honestly, I have no clue as to how it happens. Letting go just happens, and I have no hand in it.

I can have a completely honest intention to release something I have been holding on to, but sometimes it seems necessary to sit with discomfort, and really observe it, observe the thoughts and feelings around it, because there is a message in the murkiness. There is beauty there, that wants to be cultivated.

I am grateful for the moments I gain insight and clarity, and if it means I have to go into the murk, then so be it.

I asked for change and growth, so here it is.

I was in a conversation recently, where the topic was basically about how our thoughts and actions affect others, favorably or unfavorably.

It made me think about one of the first principles in yoga, called ahimsa, which means non harming. It precedes everything in yoga, and is the most important thing to cultivate.

Ahimsa starts with the self, by looking at and removing all the ways one can cause harm to themselves. This way, true vision and compassion can occur.

Beyond the obvious ways to cause harm, be it physical or verbal, there are countless other ways we all do this, and sometimes we are unaware of this fact.

It is important, periodically, to look at our intentions, because while it may not seem obvious at first, we could be injuring someone, or even ourselves. Not necessarily physically, but emotionally, or energetically.

I am constantly seeing ways in which my actions affect others, and when I realize someone is hurt by them, on any level, it makes me sad. I really want people to feel loved and appreciated in my presence. The truth is, however, I can’t assume or feel responsible for what anyone feels, but I can certainly take consideration and become astute when it comes to my feelings, thoughts and speech, and think for a second where I am coming from before I act.

I think intention is the key, and for me, it is to simply come from a pure and open heart. At times this is easy, and at others it isn’t so much, and sometimes willingness to have a pure and open heart is all that can be mustered up.

The process of the mind and personal history is complex, and is ever revealing itself. None of us will ever be perfect on this plane. That is a hard pill for me to swallow, because on some level, that is what I still long to be > PERFECT<.

Really understanding what motivates my interactions with others, or my desire for things to happen, is important indeed. At the deepest level, and sometimes the surface, I know when I am being purely self interested, and self seeking. This is not always a negative thing, but I would like for it to be beneficial for all concerned. When I am in the present moment, open my mind and heart, I can come from that purity mentioned above, and my relationships can grow beautifully. Amazingly beautiful things happen in my world view as well, no matter what is going on. This way of moving through the world, does appeal to me in the deepest sense.

A lot of my posts seem to cycle back to central themes, and self or inner love is one that I return to over and again. I believe it is one of the most important things we as humans can cultivate, and as soon as we stop criticizing who we are, and become sensitive to what we really need on a soul level, then we can realize truth, love and abundance on a profound level.

In the past, I had always thought myself to be overly sensitive in some ways, and I deemed it as wrong somehow. I guess it is because of the way I processed information and events around me. Somehow I was unable to step away and give space to a situation. I would take things personally and to heart, no matter what, which was very self centered. In this self centered place, I could not possibly see another, or see how my actions were affecting people. Even today, I can subtly do this if I am not in a clear place. Some things take time to shift.

In changing my perspective, I see sensitivity in a different context. Now I am grateful that I am so sensitive, because it is the very thing that makes me intuitive, creative and connected. The more I step out of my fear, the more in tune I feel, and the more content I feel. This allows me to love more, and love is what I truly want to radiate.

I just want to say a few things about my grandmommy. She passed on to the spirit world yesterday, and is finally at peace. She seemed to have one foot in this world, and one foot outside for about a year. Her tenacity sometimes out weighed her ability to surrender (a quality, I often possess) , and she finally did let go. I am at once relieved for her, and miss knowing she is here on this earth. She will always be in my heart.

I loved her very much. There were so many wonderful things about her. Her unshakable faith in a god of her understanding was evident, and was very loyal to showing praise and offerings, and now her spirt is flying, no soaring with the angles.

I never heard her speak ill of anyone, and she accepted people and situations as they were, and never forced her opinion on anyone. She gave generously to her family, while asking for very little. I think, it was only at the end of her life, that she allowed herself to receive and be cared for in many ways.

For many years she fought her personal demons, and finally got some peace around them. The last 10 years of her life, independent from grandad, whom she loved dearly, were really pretty happy for her, as she got to do what she wanted, when she wanted. She stayed active until about the last two years of her life here.

My biggest sadness comes from the fact that I did not ask more questions about her life, I wish I had been more active in fact finding with her. I can’t lament too much about that, because there is no point, and it is not serving her or me.

Her presence was like an oak tree, strong and quiet, and when it falls, everyone feels the vibration.

She will truly be missed.

I have been really busy lately. I am getting ready for an art opening in April, at the gallery that I show at. The work is mostly done, I just have some framing details to deal with. I am trying to get everything to the gallery, no later than next week, because I am going to Philadelphia in about a week and a half, to teach a yoga workshop. Another wonderful thing happening in April, is that I will be going to Dublin to teach another yoga workshop. Believe me, I am totally excited about this.

Everything seems to happen at once sometimes, but I will take it.

I have said many times how blessed I feel, to live the life that I do. I love it, and truly believe that a creative life, doing what you love is essential to freedom and happiness.

I admire people who do this, and appreciate the many ways that can happen. Just opening to possibilities, and thinking out side the box has an amazing effect on the soul.

I really want to share what I have in a big way, and through art and yoga, I feel I can do this.

Ok, I have to go back to my studio, and get some more work done. :)

xoxoxoxoxoxox

I am always inspired by dance, and on so many levels.

Last night, I went to see a dance concert called Identity Matrix: works and reworks, Put on by Wayne Smith. It was wonderful. It had depth and brought in many elements to create a beautiful experience. I found myself smiling a lot, and feeling alive in my heart, ready to express my process, with renewed energy and insights.

Like most artists, Wayne seems to be linking together elements of his life, and the experiences that he has gathered through the years, to express and reflect what is going on.

The best way I can describe the work, is that it is loosely structured improvisation. There is an idea to convey within every piece, and movement flows from the idea, each time the piece starts, rather than having set choreography. This makes every performance different, which can actually allow the whole performance process go through an evolution, form show to show, in a way that in a way that a traditional approach cant, and while the pieces were improv, concepts and execution were very well thought out.

There is a huge element of letting go and non attachment here, something I am learning about inch by inch.

Another thing I loved about the show, was that there was an involvement with the audience. The interaction gave a nice feeling of connection. There was an opportunity after the show for questions that members of the audience could ask the dancers. This level of connection, makes everyone feel a part of the process.

Aside from all that, the movement was very beautiful, and there was a tremendous amount of skill and presence within the dancers. The music, the video, and the spoken word (and some singing) that was part of the show, were great too.

I am definitely going to set and intention to bring some of this energy into my daily life, as well as into my art and my yoga practice. I also plan to continue enjoying all the creativity that is out there.

I don’t always remember my dreams, and usually they are quite abstract, this one was no different, but I can’t shake it.

It jumped from image to image, but the over all feeling was complete, and at once unfinished.

I was with someone, an old and unpredictable friend, and we were to make a journey. We had to go through water, and though the water was clear and beautiful, it had sharks in it. Obviously, I was not too excited to get in. My friend said “its safe, you just have to hold on to the black fin of the big one, and it will carry you”. I was dubious of his suggestion, as I had been led astray by this person so many times before, yet something told me that it was OK.

Before getting into the water, another friend appeared for a moment, and gave me six gold earrings, with jewels in them, and I was to put them in my right ear for protection and guidance. I was hesitant because usually I cant wear earrings, as the metal typically hurts my ears. I took them anyway, and put them along my outer ear, and they felt fine. I felt safe and grateful.

Back in the water, I was holding on to a black fin, when something else started circling around me. It then tried to tear into me. I was too shocked to be scared, and I heard the voice of my friend saying that there is no way that thing is going to get you. You are protected. As I relaxed, the monster faded away, and the journey continued.

I could not see my friend anymore, where was he.? I knew he was there, somewhere, but I was not able to focus on him, because my path, which was not quite clear in that moment, is what I was supposed to direct my attention to.

I must trust, is what I kept hearing.

This journey was timeless, and when I was finally out of the water, I had not arrived at any particular destination, again, it was abstract. The place I made it to was a collection of images which, were quite lovely, I saw lots of sheer fabric, in many shades of silver and grey, kind of like water. There was a comfortable breeze, and the fabric looked inviting. A few people were present, but had none had a face, or voice. Their presence was comforting though, and I knew I was not alone.

Again, where was my friend… Would I see him again? Do I want to? Questions unanswered.

Awake now, I have to wonder, was the dream an omen? Or am I just tapping in to something deep with in my heart and soul. My emotions are really heightened right now, and this dream seems pertinent. Oddly enough, I don’t analyze my dreams too much, but sometimes, I believe they carry messages, especially when I remember one, and can’t get it off my mind.

There is no danger in my way, I get that, but I sense that the undercurrent of my emotions have been dictating my life for quite sometime, and now are surfacing to release. I have to feel them, and move beyond them. That is an obvious reality to me, yet things things like this can not be forced.

I feel tearful right now, and my eyes are feeling a bit blurry, but at the same time, I feel peaceful and open. Things are flowing and I am choosing not to resist the beautiful paradox.

I have invited healing on many levels, and I am willing to swim with sharks if I it will help me to do this, because, the water is safe and beautiful, and I know I am protected and taken care of.

Darkness is the unwillingness to see what is there.

I have been asked again, to open my eyes, and my heart really wide, because it is very important to SEE my world. In my intense and scrupulous self examination, and futile strive for perfection, I have become quite exhausted. Despite all the radiant light around me, I have been in a shell of dark, because for some reason, I did not think my work was “paying off”. What ever that means…

I need to relax a bit, and stop being so hard on myself, because my life is wonderful, and so many great things are presently on the way, as well as right here now.

Overcoming obstacles is part of the human experience, but I have seen how I have made things far more difficult for myself, through self deprecation, negation and what have you. My need to be perfect comes from this deep place of really wanting to be loved, and not believing that I am good enough for that, even still. This is no pity party, it is an honest assessment. Because of this NEED and WANT, I would constantly find myself seeking approval from others. Like a baby bird waiting to be fed, I would sit there waiting to be wanted, cared for and adored.

Seriously, I have had enough of that.

One of the precepts in yoga is called ahimsa, which means non harming. My former attitude was not in sync with that, at all. In fact, it was the opposite, and it blocked me from the goodness and made me feel separate from spirit, and from others.

I have written about this many times, and I have heard it on countless occasions, that you have to love yourself. When you do, you can feel the love around you, and you can give it back freely.

My question to this was always, HOW, pray tell, do I do that?, and for the longest time, that notion seemed impossible.

I don’t think it is impossible anymore, and what a relief. I see now, that all of my efforts, and all of my clearing of old beliefs and behaviors, has been worthwhile. I have grown a lot, and I feel worthy of self respect, and worthy of respect and love from others. And even though the process continues (and will as long as I live on earth), I do not need to be so hard on myself, because it is not helpful to me or anyone else.

It seems that a lot of people struggle with inner love, and inner respect. That, in my opinion, is why the world is in turmoil.

I think inner love comes through practice. I first have to be willing to love, to open my heart, and let it breathe, so it can expand and radiate. I then have to practice loving, even if my heart gets broken. Risk is a form of faith, and faith is essential. Work and reflection are necessary, but so is relaxation, which is a part that I have neglected. In this culture, it is easy to believe aversely to relaxation, and to think it is lazy. But just look at the countless ways we escape from reality,shut down and fall out from sheer exhaustion.

Relaxation is not inertia, nor is it lazy, it is consciously softening, and being willing to receive insights and gifts. Most everyone could benefit from some deep relaxation.

Maybe if I learn how to relax deeply, I can learn how to deeply surrender. (that is another day)

I do have a willingness, and today my heart feels light, so onward I fly.

I think thats all I need to say about that :)

I am not really sure where I want to begin today, but I feel the need to write.

Recently I have come to a new level of understanding with in myself, and some definite changes have to be made if I want to move forward in certain areas, and have certain things come into my life. Nothing life shattering per se, but upon reflection, I have come to see things that may have been holding me back. I have to be willing to (shall I say) let go of some things that I feel a bit attached to.

All of the obstacles I experience are of my doing, and I can’t blame anyone or anything for my circumstance, nor do I want to. I want to say this though. My life is so beautiful in countless ways, and I am so profoundly grateful, that it is hard to express with words. I have grown and changed so much, and as I have said in other posts, I am more ME, than I have ever been.

I can still fall short of my expectations of where I would like to be in this life, and that causes a lot of suffering and sadness. I wonder sometimes if this will ever change. That remains to be seen.

After christmas, I found myself in really big funk, one that I could not shake for the life of me, despite my many attempts to employ all of the tools that I have gathered through the years.

I simply had to go through my funk, like it or not. Sometimes the FUNK is right where its at. Here, I have a choice to take my lament as an opportunity to feel, reflect and hopefully grow, rather than HATE where I am, and try to run away, blame or change it.

There are beautiful lessons everywhere.

Happily I snapped out of it a few days ago, and not a moment too soon, cause while I can learn, I don’t glean satisfaction out of my misery, and I did at one time. I know a lot of people who still do, and my heart goes out to them, because it does not have to be that way.

I have gotten a little more focused in my meditations, meaning that I am setting intentions, and am attempting to focus, rather than just sitting there.

I want to say a few things on meditation. It like everything is a process, and for me, is evolving all of the time.

When I first started to meditate, I could hardly sit there without my mind going 90 to nothing, thought after thought went by, in the most unrelenting way. I found that through practice, and watching my thoughts, and asking for feedback from others who were further along in the journey of meditation, that it is quite difficult to sit. The thoughts are always there, and that the practice of learning how to stay, is just the beginning. Beginnings by the way, can last a very long time.

Over the years, I have tried a lot of meditation techniques. There are so many, and they are all designed to get you to a place where you can find stillness, tap into the intelligence and gain insight. There is no one way, or wrong way to meditate.

Sometimes I can actually listen to the silence, and when this happens, it delights me. Most of the time however, I watch my thoughts until the timer goes off.

I feel connected and more grounded when I do my practice, even when my mind is extra noisy. I do know, that something shifts when I practice regardless what my brain tells me.

Setting an intention, helps to bring about focus, and it can bring me to a deeper understanding of where my mind is.

In these strange times, I am committed to seeing love, beauty, joy, prosperity and abundance. I not only see this for myself, I see it for the world.

There are so many changes taking place in the world, and everyone is feeling it. When I hear fear come from people, I hope to send love.

The more willing I become to leg go of my own fears, I can honestly do this.

So the practice goes on, and I continue my interesting and strange journey.

love and hugs to you <3

I am ready for this year to unfold, and I can’t wait to see what comes of it.

Last year was about new beginnings for me, and while I still think I am in that phase to a degree, I feel more comfortable in some areas. Not comfortable to the point of indolence, but a comfort that is letting me feel safe to explore, and grow as I need to grow.

I keep picturing love and abundance for all of us in this coming year, and there after. I think that is very important. Things happen in this life through intention, so why not make the intention splendorous.

As I contemplate on things, I can see that my life is vastly different than it used to be, yet I am still me. Maybe that sounds strange, but I am actually uncovering ME each day, and with this peeling of the layers, I feel more at home inside myself.

I plan to have more fun this year, because life is not only about contemplation, it is about living and connecting with others, sharing ideas, and then bringing them home.

Happy New Year
love Arline

I am humbled by my thoughts, and and observations, because I see how fierce the undercurrent of my mind can be.

Lately, I have felt focused, connected and grounded. All seemed to be flowing well in my world, and I was really full of gratitude, when my car really gave me a slue of “fun” to deal with, making my state mind spiral south. This was not a sudden progression downward, in fact, I had a roll with it attitude at first, until I realized that I was definitely going to need a different car.

In dealing with the process of this, my thoughts became a bit pejorative in nature, being somewhat critical, mistrustful, and angry, and I will tell you why. I somehow allowed others to influence my sensibilities. In other words, I once again gave my power away. Almost all of it.

WOW, how easy it is to get off kilter. Feeling like a 12 year old again incapable of any major decision, or minor one for that matter, I wanted to cross my arms, pout, and say “fuck you” to everybody (and I did for a few minutes). It seems that the simplest things in life can feel so monumental. A car for gods sake, should not be a “BIG DEAL”, but it does represent a huge amount of autonomy, especially in a city that does not support even adequate public transport, or cycling as a means for getting around…

What I am getting to here, is that along with feeling powerless, I started to let others disapproval of my choices affect me, and second guess my own gut feelings and intuition.

My intuition is good, and if I actually listen, I am almost always led into a good direction.

So finally, I got quiet, went inside. I asked for clarity and guidance, and the energy shifted.

Oftentimes others have good information to impart, and I always welcome thoughtful advice, but the bottom line is, that ultimately, I have to feel good about what I choose to do, and my decisions must come from a place of integrity within my gut, my heart and my intelligence, no matter what others may think.

I got to see a part of myself this week that needs some attention, a part of my mind that buys into old thought patterns which I am absolutely ready to release.

I have willingness to learn, and not in just an esoteric sense, but also about practical earthly issues. I do pay attention these days, and I realize I have work to do.

Mostly, I have a wonderful life, and the glitches that seem to shake things up, are thankfully not catastrophic these days, but opportunities for growth.

Certain themes have permeated my work for many years, and I am learning to accept surrender to the process with ease and trust, moving through the layers, surface to deep.

The work is tactile in so many ways, informed by my process, my perceptions, and my ability to see.

As I open my eyes, mind and heart, I can see through many of the layers.

In the movement, through my art and through my yoga practice, is where I learn so much, though this is true in all aspects of my life really. I do have to pause a lot, so I can see where I am going, and what I am doing, and I have to be willing to let go of everything.

Questions keep coming up over and over again, and I realize how skeptical I can be. As I said, I am learning how to trust. I have given up on “what” to trust, because the spirit I feel has no name, and as for people, I can only love and trust them as much as love and trust myself.

How do I do this with grace? How do I connect with the deepest part of me, and live in this world? Whats more, how do I relate to another? How do I share this love that I feel?

One of the biggest places that I see potential for learning and growth, and perhaps answers (or at least peace about my questions), is within relationships, all of them. In fact, my favorite drawing professor in graduate school used to speak about the importance of the relationships between the objects we were drawing, and space around them. It is never about one thing, everything is important and interconnected, and in an incomprehensible way.

This applies to the individual and how she relates to others, and in particular, to a special person, or the potential of one.

To learn about the self, by getting out of self is a very interesting notion, and it is quite difficult. A lot people are afraid to do this because it is a bit scary to drop our self proclaimed constructs, and truly share from the heart, but it is necessary and worthwhile. I have seen glimpses of the joy I feel when I actually see, I mean really see another. Not what I want to see.

Thankfully, relationships are dynamic as with everything else. They are ever changing, and require openness and generosity in heart and mind, as well that nebulous word trust. There is never a dull moment, how could there be.

I am just a beginner here of course, I suppose that will always be the case.

The movement is here is dynamic and inspiring, but also pausing is tantamount to finding union.

I thought there was more and of course there is, but that is about all I can write on this today, and as I open, and allow things to unfold, I can share more words. For now though (and hopefully always), I will go to my studio to paint, then to the matt to move, then sit in meditation (not necessarily in that order) , so I can tap into that grace and flow, which I can carry into all my interactions.

I am extremely grateful for my life and I really love to share what I have.

I am having an aesthetic experience. Everything I see is beauty, everything love.

The only way I can describe it, is that from my chest comes this swirling light of energy, and this energy allows me to feel connected in a deep and wonderful way.

I have been so full of gratitude lately. I guess that is what is going on, though I don’t want to think about it too much.

I made a decision, to let my heart shine, no matter what. To love, no matter what. As strange as that may seem, I realized that I have this tendency to coil up and withhold if I am afraid, or if I feel that my love is not being received. I apologize for not being specific.

I am just saying, that right now, I am choosing to love every memory, every experience, no matter how I have interpreted the content. At one time, I lived in a world, that was jaded, harsh and sunless in moments, though now there is sunshine. I am happy for this. Im happy for today.

With everything I speak about, I refer to the microcosm (me) and the macrocosm (the world and beyond).

So… I am loving what ever comes my way, because I want to see love, I want to feel love, and I want to share love. Love tears us apart, shredding the constructs that separate us. Learning how to see this love in its many manifestations will heal everything.

I’m ready!

I am feeling rather emotional today, because so much is happening right now.

We have a new president, Barack Obama and love him or not, this is an amazing point in history, where so many barriers have been shattered, there is a new hope that seemed to be lost, and an energy of love that is palpable.

I must say that I am overjoyed, and before I meditated this morning, I broke down into tears, because I can feel the transformation happening. It is happening on a micro scale and a macro scale.

New beginnings!

My hope is that we can collectively help in this transformative process.

The thing that I got from watching this election, was that we all need to start paying better attention, and taking an interest in where we are as a whole, and at once, cultivate a sense of personal responsibility. Everything starts with “I”, but ultimately we are all connected, and must come together.

It is not going to be easy, growth never is. I don’t have quixotic notions, and I welcome the process as it unfolds. I am learning to trust, and as that trust grows, so does my world around me.

I feel this growth and opening on so many levels, and words can’t really touch what I am experiencing. I just hope that I can radiate the love that I am feeling right now. I hope it touches and heals, because I want that so much, for everyone.

So today I am thankful, happy and full of gratitude. But let me say this, if it had gone the other way, I may not have been happy, but I would still be thankful and full of gratitude, because every situation offers potential for growth. Sometimes though, we need a totally different perspective, and to be pushed out of our comfort zone, especially if the comfort zone is not so great.

This is a very exciting time right now for many reasons. One being the imminent election, which I hope will cause a great transformation. My hopes are high, but I am not attached to my thoughts of what I want. I will therefore not get political, because if you know me, you know I am not exactly political by nature. I tend to be a bit idealistic and oftentimes turn a blind eye to the happenings in our government. Sadly many others do the same thing. This apathy, and it is apathy, has not done our country any favors.

I do vote though, and realize what privilege that is. We are lucky in so many ways, and it is time to pay attention.

I will say, that I have been meditating and sending a lot of energy to all the candidates. I wish peace, everyone deserves that. My opinion is on the liberal and expansive side, and I believe that transformation is essential. This fear based mentality and avarice has to end. There is more than enough!

I have a lot to learn.

On a personal level I have so much to be happy for. I feel loved and connected, and so grateful for all the amazing people in my world. I can’t say that enough, I am truly blessed.

Lately I have been reconnecting with old friends via the internet. What an incredible world we live in, and with the brilliance of technology sweet connections can be made and rekindled. And to think, I resisted technology for so long.

It is interesting to me, the things that we resist. The unsettling nature of change can breed fear. I think that is why it sometimes seems so hard to embrace something new?
I have stayed in countless situations, miserable to the point of suffering, for far longer than I had to, simply because I was afraid of what the new possibilities were. I think that complacency also plays a part. It requires work and oftentimes discomfort to change. This is true personally and universally.

I say bring it on! What ever change is in store will produce growth and wisdom.

We need it, and the undercurrent is strong, something is going to overturn sooner than later. Lets just bring love into it.

My day started at about 4 30, and not too badly considering that I woke every hour on the hour post 12 30 when I lay down to sleep. I was restless, and having strange strange dreams. I won’t go into them now, but needless to say, I don’t feel adequately rested.

Still, I was very excited to get into my studio this morning, because I got some new gesso, an artist medium that is really thick white paint. Well, the thing was vacuum sealed, and I could not get it open. I tried patiently, and I tried many ways, when I finally got frustrated and slammed it down like a spoiled brat.
Well, the container opened alright, it went splat all over my face, in my hair, but thankfully not on my shirt, or I would have really been mad. So I stomped inside to clean the mess off my face, and coffee was all over the floor, because I had not put the coffee pot in securely enough, so coffee everywhere, paint everywhere. Deep cleansing breaths came only after the explatives that I fervently yelled.

Sadly this happened AFTER my meditation, my peaceful meditation…

This month, I have made changes to my teaching schedule. I changed the time of my sunday morning class. It was form 10 30 am to 12, and I have moved it to 9 am, this was scheduled to be in effect next sunday October 12th, and was on the printed schedule, but was not on the website, SO guess what happened.
Several people showed up at 9 and I was not there to greet them. OH MY GOSH HOW HORRIBLE!!!
I got this phone call telling me the news, and asking where I was. Of course I was thrown into a temporary panic, dropping whatever I was doing, rushing to get there, beating myself up for this mishap, and having richious indignation at once, because “I was very specific about starting the second week of October, and why was it incorrect on the site????” Trying to explain this over the phone at this time was futile. The two schedules were incorrect, because of miscommunication, that’s all, and really it was OK, not the end of the world

Yes, I mentioned this, but I had meditated. Where was the peaceful state, the bliss, cause I was not feeling it.

Finally I collected myself, and was able to get past my ineffective thinking and attitude, and be present to those who came. THANK YOU so much you guys, for being understanding! I ended up teaching two classes, because at 10 30 some students showed up, and did so joyfully.

One thing on meditation. Meditating does not necessarily make things more peaceful, it brings about space, and makes you present to what is real and right in front of you. Hopefully in stressful situations, you can draw on the practice, and not fall apart, or at least for not too long. Just the act of sitting there with the intention of meditating is, I believe, touching something deep, and is asking the strong mind to change rout. Sometimes things take time. One thing is for sure, we are not always going to feel peace, and yet the peace is always available to us. It is about tapping into it.

All is well now, but I plan to start over fresh and new, and am going to check out for a bit. Sleep works wonders on the mind, and the nervous system. So off I go to tap in…

This post will be mostly visual:

I have already shown a lot of pictures from Santa Maria del Sole, and by the way, we are going back again next year!!!!!!!!! More on that later.

Here is the Ionian Sea>

And pieces of rome>

the coliseum

The Vatican, the smallest city, and the richest city, by far

beautiful ceilings and floors.

I could not take pics of the Sistine Chapel, as no photography was allowed (some people did though).
I also failed to take pics of a lot of other things as well. There was simply too much to see. Let’s just say I was highly inspired!

The contrast between Santa Maria del Sole and Rome was huge, but wonderful none the less. I can’t wait to go back.

This is the outside of my room on my Italy retreat, front view and side angle…

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A back door path…

This is only a taste of the charm of Santa Maria del Sole. I will write much much more, after I gather my bearings. It is a wonderful place to be, and the people are beyond words. Love knows no bounds and language barriers can not stand on the way of it.

More later.

In 8 days, I am going to Italy with a group of amazing people to teach yoga. I am sooooooooooo excited.

It seemed so far away for so long, in fact, it was almost like a dream, but it is actually right around the corner, and it is happening. Someone asked me if I was prepared, and the answer is no, not yet. I have been suddenly hit with a bazillion things that need to be taken care of before I leave. I am making the list now.

I”m not worried though, I am too happy to be.

We are flying from Memphis to Amsterdam, then on to Rome. Once in Rome, we will get another flight to Brindisi, and will be picked up and taken to the site where the retreat will be held.

We will do yoga twice a day, morning and evening. There are plenty of things to do or not to do while there. I can’t wait to see the place, it looks beautiful from the pictures. I hope to take a bunch of my own pictures (note to self, get new memory card).

After the actual retreat, several of us will head on to Rome, just to explore. I can not wait to see the architecture, and the art. We wont forget yoga while there, no no, I plan on teaching there too, as a gift. We may have to move some beds and do it in the hotel, but we don’t care.

I have so much to do I can’t sit here. More later…

Love and Hugs

In my classes, I have really been focusing on the chakra system. I have touched on what the chakras are in the teaching yoga section of this site, and I plan to really expand on it soon. >EEK< I just looked at it, and it is a mess. I will fix it ASAP!!!!!!

My overhaul has started, as I said in an earlier post, with many papers and files. I tend to write things in random places, and put them away, and write something related some other time, and put it else where. Hence the need to organize, get a sense of ground.

Anyway the chakra that I am personally focusing right now, because I have felt inbalance, is the muladhara chakra (root chakra) . This chakra, has to do with life force and feeling connected to it, feeling secure, and taken care of. It is powerful and swirling red energy. Much much more can be explained about this and the other chakras, but this post is just touching on the root.

There is a lot of unsettled energy in the world today. So many people are worried about the economy, and the state of our nation, (one can see why) which creates much fear on so many levels. It is a challenge not to get caught up in the swirl of it all.

I just try to bring it home when ever I get caught up in the energy that dovetails with my feelings of insecurity, because when I focus on what is "wrong" out there, I get distracted from what is going on in my own heart, and find it difficult to find solutions for ANYTHING.

SO...

Basically, I have been working on feeling grounded in my meditations. It is really quite simple. I visualize warmth and security, I return over and over to the breath, which happens to be wise in any situation, and I sit no less than 20 minutes (this amount of time works for me now, it is not a magic number, sometimes it seems, we can only spare 5 minutes). Just getting still, like I mentioned in my last post has been extremely helpful, and I have gotten a ton of insight. I really do feel connected and more peaceful lately. That certainly does not mean my mind doesn't go bonkers with worry in moments, but I am really starting to see how to rein it in more easily.

The mind loves distraction, and loves to play games and be entertained, but not always in a fun sense. So I try to view my thoughts (at least when meditating) as clouds passing in the sky, and allow them to float by rather than attaching or identifying with them. < that is a major practice>

Gratitude is at the forefront, and I express it as much as I can. I say thank you every and all day long, for my life and my breath, my body to express who I really am.

I am in my head today, and I don’t much like it. I need to get out and do something fun.

My brain seems to be hardwired to think, analyze, and systematically “figure things out”, to the point of nauseum.

Conversely, I am highly creative, and this part of me laughs at the scheming, analytical part of my mind.

The two worlds have not been in sync lately, and it has caused some frustration within me, and since this is my stomping ground for working things out, and sharing my process, here I go.

Part of suffering, comes from this identification to who and what we think we are, and what we do everyday. For example, I am a girl, a woman, an artist, a yoga teacher friend, sister, a daughter etc… Going deeper > identifying with beliefs that make up our make up or character, which could be affirming or pejorative, “I am good or I am bad, I am ugly or I am beautiful, smart, stupid. But the things we identify ourselves by are just constructs, and are really not the essence of who we are. We think we are ’something’ and we spend our whole lives trying to live up to the image that we construct, yet we (most people at some point, anyway) seek meaning and purpose, beyond what is in our everyday world, so we search and search for something or someone to no avail. Therein lies the dilemma, and suffering takes place. Why, because we don’t have to seek, what we really want, is inside each and every human being. Most of the time we don’t recognize this, because we get caught up in our little web of story line.

Through my studies and practice, I really am starting to see, at least with in myself, all the ways that I cut myself off from the essence of my being, how I cut off the creative flow, and when the blinders come on, and how deep this matrix goes. Seriously, I have been practicing yoga for a while now, and part of that practice is intense self study, so I have seen patterns in my body, mind and behavior a lot, it is just that I don’t always know what to do with the information that I gather.

Then it dawned on me… I am to do nothing. I am to sit still, do absolutely nothing, and be with what is right there. Through the act of being, not doing, I will be guided to places I truly need to be. Next, I have to really tap into that inner love, that is pure and real.

I am sure that I have had this realization before, but today it feels like a light bulb went on, though only after I did a number on myself, through massive self pity and through berating myself for being caught up in the self pity.

It is quite laughable.

I will surely keep doing the things I do, I love them, most of them anyway. I just have to remember to be still too, and let the breath take care of my thinking thinking thinking. Yes, then I am open to receive, and am able to give.

Now, it is time for me to go out, and find some fun to have. : )