arline jernigan

I was in a conversation recently, where the topic was basically about how our thoughts and actions affect others, favorably or unfavorably.

It made me think about one of the first principles in yoga, called ahimsa, which means non harming. It precedes everything in yoga, and is the most important thing to cultivate.

Ahimsa starts with the self, by looking at and removing all the ways one can cause harm to themselves. This way, true vision and compassion can occur.

Beyond the obvious ways to cause harm, be it physical or verbal, there are countless other ways we all do this, and sometimes we are unaware of this fact.

It is important, periodically, to look at our intentions, because while it may not seem obvious at first, we could be injuring someone, or even ourselves. Not necessarily physically, but emotionally, or energetically.

I am constantly seeing ways in which my actions affect others, and when I realize someone is hurt by them, on any level, it makes me sad. I really want people to feel loved and appreciated in my presence. The truth is, however, I can’t assume or feel responsible for what anyone feels, but I can certainly take consideration and become astute when it comes to my feelings, thoughts and speech, and think for a second where I am coming from before I act.

I think intention is the key, and for me, it is to simply come from a pure and open heart. At times this is easy, and at others it isn’t so much, and sometimes willingness to have a pure and open heart is all that can be mustered up.

The process of the mind and personal history is complex, and is ever revealing itself. None of us will ever be perfect on this plane. That is a hard pill for me to swallow, because on some level, that is what I still long to be > PERFECT<.

Really understanding what motivates my interactions with others, or my desire for things to happen, is important indeed. At the deepest level, and sometimes the surface, I know when I am being purely self interested, and self seeking. This is not always a negative thing, but I would like for it to be beneficial for all concerned. When I am in the present moment, open my mind and heart, I can come from that purity mentioned above, and my relationships can grow beautifully. Amazingly beautiful things happen in my world view as well, no matter what is going on. This way of moving through the world, does appeal to me in the deepest sense.

A lot of my posts seem to cycle back to central themes, and self or inner love is one that I return to over and again. I believe it is one of the most important things we as humans can cultivate, and as soon as we stop criticizing who we are, and become sensitive to what we really need on a soul level, then we can realize truth, love and abundance on a profound level.

In the past, I had always thought myself to be overly sensitive in some ways, and I deemed it as wrong somehow. I guess it is because of the way I processed information and events around me. Somehow I was unable to step away and give space to a situation. I would take things personally and to heart, no matter what, which was very self centered. In this self centered place, I could not possibly see another, or see how my actions were affecting people. Even today, I can subtly do this if I am not in a clear place. Some things take time to shift.

In changing my perspective, I see sensitivity in a different context. Now I am grateful that I am so sensitive, because it is the very thing that makes me intuitive, creative and connected. The more I step out of my fear, the more in tune I feel, and the more content I feel. This allows me to love more, and love is what I truly want to radiate.

I just want to say a few things about my grandmommy. She passed on to the spirit world yesterday, and is finally at peace. She seemed to have one foot in this world, and one foot outside for about a year. Her tenacity sometimes out weighed her ability to surrender (a quality, I often possess) , and she finally did let go. I am at once relieved for her, and miss knowing she is here on this earth. She will always be in my heart.

I loved her very much. There were so many wonderful things about her. Her unshakable faith in a god of her understanding was evident, and was very loyal to showing praise and offerings, and now her spirt is flying, no soaring with the angles.

I never heard her speak ill of anyone, and she accepted people and situations as they were, and never forced her opinion on anyone. She gave generously to her family, while asking for very little. I think, it was only at the end of her life, that she allowed herself to receive and be cared for in many ways.

For many years she fought her personal demons, and finally got some peace around them. The last 10 years of her life, independent from grandad, whom she loved dearly, were really pretty happy for her, as she got to do what she wanted, when she wanted. She stayed active until about the last two years of her life here.

My biggest sadness comes from the fact that I did not ask more questions about her life, I wish I had been more active in fact finding with her. I can’t lament too much about that, because there is no point, and it is not serving her or me.

Her presence was like an oak tree, strong and quiet, and when it falls, everyone feels the vibration.

She will truly be missed.

I have been really busy lately. I am getting ready for an art opening in April, at the gallery that I show at. The work is mostly done, I just have some framing details to deal with. I am trying to get everything to the gallery, no later than next week, because I am going to Philadelphia in about a week and a half, to teach a yoga workshop. Another wonderful thing happening in April, is that I will be going to Dublin to teach another yoga workshop. Believe me, I am totally excited about this.

Everything seems to happen at once sometimes, but I will take it.

I have said many times how blessed I feel, to live the life that I do. I love it, and truly believe that a creative life, doing what you love is essential to freedom and happiness.

I admire people who do this, and appreciate the many ways that can happen. Just opening to possibilities, and thinking out side the box has an amazing effect on the soul.

I really want to share what I have in a big way, and through art and yoga, I feel I can do this.

Ok, I have to go back to my studio, and get some more work done. :)

xoxoxoxoxoxox

I am always inspired by dance, and on so many levels.

Last night, I went to see a dance concert called Identity Matrix: works and reworks, Put on by Wayne Smith. It was wonderful. It had depth and brought in many elements to create a beautiful experience. I found myself smiling a lot, and feeling alive in my heart, ready to express my process, with renewed energy and insights.

Like most artists, Wayne seems to be linking together elements of his life, and the experiences that he has gathered through the years, to express and reflect what is going on.

The best way I can describe the work, is that it is loosely structured improvisation. There is an idea to convey within every piece, and movement flows from the idea, each time the piece starts, rather than having set choreography. This makes every performance different, which can actually allow the whole performance process go through an evolution, form show to show, in a way that in a way that a traditional approach cant, and while the pieces were improv, concepts and execution were very well thought out.

There is a huge element of letting go and non attachment here, something I am learning about inch by inch.

Another thing I loved about the show, was that there was an involvement with the audience. The interaction gave a nice feeling of connection. There was an opportunity after the show for questions that members of the audience could ask the dancers. This level of connection, makes everyone feel a part of the process.

Aside from all that, the movement was very beautiful, and there was a tremendous amount of skill and presence within the dancers. The music, the video, and the spoken word (and some singing) that was part of the show, were great too.

I am definitely going to set and intention to bring some of this energy into my daily life, as well as into my art and my yoga practice. I also plan to continue enjoying all the creativity that is out there.

I don’t always remember my dreams, and usually they are quite abstract, this one was no different, but I can’t shake it.

It jumped from image to image, but the over all feeling was complete, and at once unfinished.

I was with someone, an old and unpredictable friend, and we were to make a journey. We had to go through water, and though the water was clear and beautiful, it had sharks in it. Obviously, I was not too excited to get in. My friend said “its safe, you just have to hold on to the black fin of the big one, and it will carry you”. I was dubious of his suggestion, as I had been led astray by this person so many times before, yet something told me that it was OK.

Before getting into the water, another friend appeared for a moment, and gave me six gold earrings, with jewels in them, and I was to put them in my right ear for protection and guidance. I was hesitant because usually I cant wear earrings, as the metal typically hurts my ears. I took them anyway, and put them along my outer ear, and they felt fine. I felt safe and grateful.

Back in the water, I was holding on to a black fin, when something else started circling around me. It then tried to tear into me. I was too shocked to be scared, and I heard the voice of my friend saying that there is no way that thing is going to get you. You are protected. As I relaxed, the monster faded away, and the journey continued.

I could not see my friend anymore, where was he.? I knew he was there, somewhere, but I was not able to focus on him, because my path, which was not quite clear in that moment, is what I was supposed to direct my attention to.

I must trust, is what I kept hearing.

This journey was timeless, and when I was finally out of the water, I had not arrived at any particular destination, again, it was abstract. The place I made it to was a collection of images which, were quite lovely, I saw lots of sheer fabric, in many shades of silver and grey, kind of like water. There was a comfortable breeze, and the fabric looked inviting. A few people were present, but had none had a face, or voice. Their presence was comforting though, and I knew I was not alone.

Again, where was my friend… Would I see him again? Do I want to? Questions unanswered.

Awake now, I have to wonder, was the dream an omen? Or am I just tapping in to something deep with in my heart and soul. My emotions are really heightened right now, and this dream seems pertinent. Oddly enough, I don’t analyze my dreams too much, but sometimes, I believe they carry messages, especially when I remember one, and can’t get it off my mind.

There is no danger in my way, I get that, but I sense that the undercurrent of my emotions have been dictating my life for quite sometime, and now are surfacing to release. I have to feel them, and move beyond them. That is an obvious reality to me, yet things things like this can not be forced.

I feel tearful right now, and my eyes are feeling a bit blurry, but at the same time, I feel peaceful and open. Things are flowing and I am choosing not to resist the beautiful paradox.

I have invited healing on many levels, and I am willing to swim with sharks if I it will help me to do this, because, the water is safe and beautiful, and I know I am protected and taken care of.