I tell ya, I just have not been into posting lately. I did have my computer quit on me, and was out of it for about a week or so. I just could not post using my Iphone more than once, that was enough.

Apparently my hard drive went out, and it seems, that there is no real shelf life to them. Sometimes you are unfortunate and get a faulty one. I think that must be what happened to my first ipod. It never worked correctly, and always died and came back to life shortly before finally exiting completely.

I have really been organizing lately. I love to do this, as well as clean thoroughly. It is instant gratification, and it really feels good when it is done. My house is always tidy, and I straighten everyday, but getting on my hands and knees and scrubbing somehow feels very cathartic. Obviously that does not happen everyday, nor does it need to.

My car is another story… There is no trash scattered around, as I have a trash bag inside, but basically it is the book mobile, and yoga studio on wheels. Along with books, matts, blocks and blankets, are notebooks/ sketchbooks, art supplies, and walking shoes, incase I want to go walking with my friend. I try to keep it neat, but it can be a challenge.

So, I have been going through these old note books, and reading articles and notes that I have saved (some are well over a year old), and now I am deciding what is important for me to keep. Things are scattered in semi organized piles in my painting studio, waiting to find their respective homes. I have the art files, the yoga files, fashion, and home decor.

I really want to find a way to make bookshelves for my car, because I have a ton of books in there, and they are staying, incase I get time to go to the coffee shop just to read or study.

It’s pretty mundane, isn’t it, but most of everyday life is. Thats OK though, there is pleasure and beauty in the mundane, don’t you think.

For what ever reason, my journal has been neglected. I guess I am at a crossroads with it. I feel like it is something I want to foster, yet I have had a lot of writers block around it.

I have so many other things to develop in this website, and I have been quite slack in those things that need to grow. (Oh how this translates into life)

If all goes well I will have a photo shoot for the poses section, this saturday. That will be great fun.

I have tons of yoga writing to do as well, and have several things in the works.

People have asked me if my paintings are for sale, and the answer is YES. I just need to post prices, and give people who are interested, a way to do this.

I also plan to have a news letter at some point in the very near future, as well as a calendar of events. I have been told that my website is not professional enough, but that it is great. I just need to add a list of my credentials and explain all that I have to offer.

I do agree, and a lot of these things are a long time coming, I am getting to work right now.

I will be extremely glad when this week is over. That is all I am gonna say.

I feel unearthed and exposed, but today I am totally cool with it. I suppose that is good, because I created it.

I do feel clear though, and my eyes and ears are open, and i am responding. My heart is in the right place, and my mind is even.

I am emotionally exhausted though, so I am going to sleep now, I hope I fall into it deeply, and plan to be there as long as I can.

It has been a very strange week for sure. I know it is a full moon and all, but this one has been extra loony.

On monday it started when I went to the yoga studio to practice before I was to teach. Right before I left, I burned a CD to play for my class, and that particular CD was the only thing I wanted to hear, in fact I planned my class around it (something I do quite often). I rode by bike to the studio, and only brought the one CD of course, and for some reason, the first song did not burn. I was irritated to say the least, because I had (chose) to ride my bike home as fast as I could to burn another CD, so that I could practice to the music that I wanted. Once home, I figured out the problem, and fixed it, burned another CD, and on my way out the door, something told me to grab my ipod too (I rarely use my ipod for classes, which is a story in itself).

So I am dripping with sweat, I put my music in to practice, and hurried to the matt. Finally after a few minutes of practice things started to feel more fluid and I was able to fall into a more meditative space, and I felt good to teach.

The stereo decided to stop working right in the middle of class however, and I had to resort to my ipod, (thank goodness for intuition and that my ipod actually behaved).

I made it through the class, which was pretty much about letting go, and being with what is. It was actually a very fun class despite the strange start and middle.

When the class was over and I got to the front counter, my skirt was gone. It had literally vanished. No one came into the studio during class, and no one would have wanted to take it anyway. (though it is one of my favorite junk skirts to throw on over yoga shorts).

Sarla and I looked for the thing for about a half of an hour before giving up, then Margo, another teacher came in and started looking as well. NOTHING!

I had to ride my bike home in short short shorts. Real cute.

That is weird enough right?

No

Today the skirt was found wadded up in a drawer underneath the counter of the studio. We all looked there before, and nothing. HRM

So I am perplexed to say the least. I am however delighted that I have my skirt back.

This morning, after doing nothing out of the ordinary, I made my “coffee” and went to my studio to check things out. When I came back, coffee was all over the floor. ACK! For some reason it had overflowed. Thankfully I was calm from having meditated (even though I really sat quietly at my alter, while not so random thoughts consumed my mind>another story at another time perhaps), but regardless of that I felt calm (and still do), so I was not in a furry (which this could arguably be grounds for). I had just enough (barely) coffee left to make some more. I did not want to go to the market so early, and thankfully didn’t have to. wshoo!

Of course I want a super nice espresso machine, and maybe through some searching, I won’t have to give my right arm for one. Yes, they can be pricey. I really NEED a new washer and dryer, as mine came with the house, and are very old and not doing my clothes any favors. Do I NEED and espresso machine, NO, but…

Why must I always be so practical?

I admit it, I am a sap for romance (not the flowery kind), and I got a little teary eyed in a couple of places. Perhaps that’s just where I am these days.

On the verge of tears.

Happy and sad, full of longing, yet satisfied in so manny ways.

I never stop growing, and exploring. Sometimes I see how far I have come, and say WOW. Yet I have so far to go, more to see and open to, and if think about it too much, I start to feel overwhelmed.

I continue to work with this idea of opening my heart. I talk about it in my classes, I really really want to. I think wanting to and doing it are two different things (not to discount wanting to, that is an imoprtant part of the process). That is why practicing yoga and meditation is essential to me. To break through limitations, and see things clearly.

I really am letting my heart open. At the same time, I see just how easy it is to shut down, it blind sides me. Old patterns die hard. Yet, I am conscious and aware, so it’s easier these days to catch door when it wants to slam into my heart.

We need people to help us to see where we are sometimes, and I am grateful to my friends who help me to see where I am stuck, and to cheer me on when I shine.

Anyway, I am just thankful that I could get some help, and that I didn’t have to shell out a bunch of cash to fix my problem (which wasn’t really a problem).

I didn’t even mind spending a little over an hour and a half there, and I got past the drive out east.

I have been having a great time making my space lovely and my own, and it’s come a long way. I’ve done quite a bit to it, and I’ve loved painting my walls and being creative with texture, finding the right pieces of furniture, and letting it evolve.

My yard, I admit, is an eye-sore. That’s because of two things. One is that I have been waiting for the condo’s to go up, and I (with lotso help) have been bulding a painting studio in my back yard where the garage used to be, so I could not really do anything to the yard with out ruining it The studio is pretty much finnished, but the construction on these condos seems endless. They have promised me a wooden fence which is nice, because hose condos are some serious UGLY. I can’t even begin to describe them. They stick out like a sore thumb in the neighborhood, they are enormous, and, well I could go on and on, but that isn’t necessary, they just upset my aesthetic sensibility.

That said, I got home yesterday to find two men putting a fence up. Yay, it’s giant, and it blocks the building for the most part. I am very happy about this to say the least.

Now I can start to think about my yard. I want my little house to be beautiful on the inside and out, so landsacping is necessary, and now possible. With the fence in place, and by planting a few trees, I don’t have to look at the condos, ( Wshoo, what a relief) and can pretend that they aren’t even there. AHHHHHHHHHHH. How exciting.

It is high time for a new perspective, so, here she goes.

Beginnings can be exciting when approached with an open heart, and since my heart seems to be exploding these days, I am ready for new adventures. I want to be open to as many possibilities as I can.

Now I just have to be patient with myself, and show some compassion. That’s what I would do for anyone else.

Things change. I have a computer now (and I like it), so I have decided to learn a thing or two, and be open to a world that I once shunned. I have to admit though, that I feel extremely overwhelmed in moments. This world is fast and immediate, it’s big and I have so much to learn. Thankfully I have friends that are patient and extremely helpful.

I’m learning to be patient with myself, and this new adventure is giving me a lot of practice.

The phrase “I don’t know”, and the self deprecating thoughts have to go out the window, because they don’t serve me or anyone at all.

I am happy with my new adventure.