Everything is sacred
Today is much brighter, and not only because the sun is shining.
Sometimes I think that it is a good idea to let yourself fall apart.
I remember when my niece Baighly was around 2 years old, and we were at the botanical gardens. It was kind of chilly outside, and inside there was a craft table set up. Jessica, my other niece and I were so excited about this, so we promptly sat down, and began to color and make things.
Natalie, my lovely sister took Bay to the little girls room. They were in there quite a while, but Jessie and I were having a great time on our creations, when all the sudden, we heard a louder than loud scream. Jess and I looked at one another, each with an oh dear expression, when out of the bathroom comes Natalie with a very stiff and hysterical Baighly.
Er.. It was time to leave the fun, and go back to the home front. We had to pass many people to get to the door, and had a ways to go, to get to the car. Baighly carried on unabashedly, stiff and unrelenting.
Once we got outside. Natalie put her down, and she proceeded to fall out, and continue her tantrum. It was quite a scene. But I found myself thinking, and then said it out loud, “I wish I could do that sometimes” , “Just fall out, let it loose, and kick and scream, with out caring what others would think.”
I felt like doing that yesterday, and while I did not technically throw a tantrum (in front of anyone), I allowed myself to really feel the guttural things inside, cry and cary on, and because I did that, I am much more peaceful today. I am focused, and have room for life.
Someone turned me on to a new park today. It is the cancer survivors park. It has sculptures, inspirational signs for you to stop and read, a labyrinth, and a ton of wild flowers all around. I think I will plant some wild flowers in my yard next year.
I did not have time to walk the labyrinth today, but I will.
Being there, even for the short time that I had, walking around and reading the inspirational signs, made me remember that everything is sacred. All things, all sentient beings, all feelings, thoughts and emotions are part of this life, whether I like them or not. Everything has its place.
I am very lucky to be alive, I really am, and I am grateful, that I have a body and mind to express myself.