arline jernigan

Finally I had a shift, after a completely sleepless night, 30 minutes of attempted meditation, painting, riding my bike, doing pull ups (not very many), 108 jumping jacks, a yoga practice, and teaching two yoga classes. I always have some, well lots of energy to burn, but my mind and body reached a point of epic proportions.

Last night I felt like I was in a vortex, and could not get out. I had no choice but to be there endlessly spinning deeper into the contents of my mind.

I am finally laughing, because it is really humorous how a fury of the mind can occur based on partial information, limited ideas, and faulty perception, which is usually context oriented, and not at all based in reality.

I do know this, My heart is sensitive, loving and generous. It has a lot to share, and wants to do so. My mind is at times (not always of course), rigid, harsh and suspect. It would have me isolate for an eternity, to keep from getting hurt. When I feel a disconnect, then havoc descends on my spirit.

Thus the spiral down.

I used to think that I was too sensitive, but I don’t think so anymore. My sensitivity is something that I want to refine and expand upon, because it makes me intuitive, caring and empathetic. I just want to bring some wisdom and intelligence into the picture, that way my perceptions won’t get in the way, and I may not feel like a raw nerve.

Yeah I’m moody, that is one thing I can and do accept about myself, but it is high time for some footloose and fancy free energy. That would be incredibly nice for a change. I am up for it. I have dusted myself off, and am ready to play again.

But not the merry- go-round please.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 23rd, 2007 at 1:29 pm and is filed under Journal, exploration, process. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.