power play
Relating to others is a tricky situation, and it can actually be difficult at times. I feel like a beginner in many ways. Hell, I am a neophyte, because I am only just now beginning to appreciate the subtleties that are involved in relationships.
A lot of time there is imbalance, and power play. No one can have power over another unless it is given to them, yet we as humans just love to give our power away in one form or another. When we do this we are left in bemusement, and frustration at the inevitable demise of the relationship. We all do this somewhat, though it seems that some people tend to be the ones who are the power gatherers, and the others are the victims.
In reality no one has any power at all, it’s just an illusion, a game, trip or what ever you want to call it.
I am personally uninterested in playing those kinds of games. Though even as I say this, I find myself thinking and doing things that indicate the opposite. By thinking excessively about what others are doing or thinking. As with everything, this spreads into all facets of life, work, friendships, teacher/student, love like situations. (though, in love there is no power play, its just love)
I get confused sometimes (mostly when I am in the midst of chaos in my mind), at when it is time to think of me and my world, and when to think outside myself. I get confused, because I am at those times unable to think outside myself in a magnanimous way, but am thinking of the other, in relation to me and my lament. That disturbs me quite a bit.
It is important to live consciously, your own life, remember your vision and purpose, and to then take responsibility for what you do. As usual, this takes effort. Exploration of patterns of behavior and mind is essential and so many people don’t want to look that deeply.
I do, and I am, but I’m a weirdo. A strong, creative, sensitive, loving and compassionate weirdo, that wants to share equally, and play nice.
My posts have been a little bit on the heavy side this week, but that is just where I am. I will gladly lighten up. I think it is starting to happen, we’ll see.
BTW, these are just my thoughts and opinions, feel free to share yours…
August 30th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
I too am a weirdo, arline. I think a lot about what others may be thinking, I tend to obsess about things sometimes. Right now I am challenged with holding my position in areas of my life that I want to and should stick up for myself on, and to do so gracefully. I am easily swayed, reveal my own faults. Sometimes I swoon into easily changing my mind, and I struggle with feelings of guilt and self-reproach for taking a stand. On the other hand, when I’m feeling stubborn, it IS hard to be magnanimous when my gut reaction is “Hey! That’s not cool!!!” But there are times when that reaction is justified, isn’t it? Maybe, at least for me, it’s about picking my battles and owning what really is important to me and letting the really trivial things fade into the background. Ironically, my correct responses seem to be reversed sometimes- i’m stubborn on the silly things and fickle on the big stuff, and sometimes just get all confused.
August 31st, 2007 at 9:31 am
It is so tricky, because ultimately it does not matter one small bit what others think in terms of our soul purpose. We have choice after choice which can seem overwhelming at times. To really look into my heart and soul, find out what is really needed can become clouded by the myriad opinions that people have. I am learning how to listen and really pay attention though.
I too tend to obsess about things sometimes, and I feel you, big time, about holding my position on certain things, it feels scary. Grace, honesty, respect, trust and humility have to be in the forefront so that we can see and respond fearlessly.
I want to respond from a place of love rather than fear.
I too can be easily swayed at times, because I am very empathetic, but if I get honest, I fear what others think of me, and while I am in fact extremely emtathetic, I am not usually, when it comes to me and my circumstance, though this is changing rapidly, and it feels very uncomfortable in moments. I feel the conflict in my body, yet it also feels correct. I am growing!!!!! So are you :)
I am choosing to trust my intuition, and my higher self to lead me in the right direction (even though there is no “right” or “wrong” (semantics)).
Confusion is natural I think. well, it is for me anyway, but clarity is more prevalent than it once was. Hooooooray!
September 1st, 2007 at 7:05 pm
We are doing the work, and it shows. : )
HOORRAYYYY!!!