prayer as a discipline or at least, a practice
My thoughts lately, have been on prayer and meditation.
Both of these acts are meant to be practiced, rather than mulled over, however I do think it is good to consider what each mean for me. It differs daily, and I must say, that it has not always been easy for me to pray from my heart. I have prayed in rote, and I have given foxhole prayers, when my ass was on fire, but really calling on the spirit and powers to be, and offering myself up, asking for guidance and letting go of expectation is a new and unchartered territory.
I have found, that I meditate much more easily, and feel more connected to myself and the spirit than when I pray.
When I meditate, I seem to let go of expectations or thoughts of what will come of it. Not only that, I have learned several meditation techniques, which help me to connect and become still. My asana practice is a moving meditation. I love to meditate, even if it is for five minutes.
I notice a difference in my thinking mind when I meditate regularly, yet when I pray, I still feel a little awkward, because I find that I do have wants and expectations, and along with that, I have a time table for when these expectations are to be met, which is usually RIGHT NOW! I talk to spirit all the time, but I seem place demands first, and then ask for guidance, and hold on to expectation.
My limited thinking can never really see the whole picture. My wishes and desires are absolutely essential, because with them I can take part in creating my world. I just have to let go of what I think things should look like, because as I reflect, things in my present life, are far superior to anything I would have seen for myself.
So this is where discipline and dedication come in. I am taking time each day for both. Asking and listening. With in the asking I am to include all the things that I am grateful for. To wish all the things I want for myself, to go to others as well.
I have been sitting in the morning, as it is the best and most quiet time for me to connect, and I do my best to ask for direction, minus the controlling demands I have. Where this will take me…
All I know, is that my thinking has already started to shift, and I am even more conscious of my intentions, and how I walk through this world. I like that.
I do hope that my prayers start to feel more natural, and that I do it without abandon, because I do believe in its power, and I have seen it in so many ways.
So here I go…