removing obstacles and letting go…
I am not really sure where I want to begin today, but I feel the need to write.
Recently I have come to a new level of understanding with in myself, and some definite changes have to be made if I want to move forward in certain areas, and have certain things come into my life. Nothing life shattering per se, but upon reflection, I have come to see things that may have been holding me back. I have to be willing to (shall I say) let go of some things that I feel a bit attached to.
All of the obstacles I experience are of my doing, and I can’t blame anyone or anything for my circumstance, nor do I want to. I want to say this though. My life is so beautiful in countless ways, and I am so profoundly grateful, that it is hard to express with words. I have grown and changed so much, and as I have said in other posts, I am more ME, than I have ever been.
I can still fall short of my expectations of where I would like to be in this life, and that causes a lot of suffering and sadness. I wonder sometimes if this will ever change. That remains to be seen.
After christmas, I found myself in really big funk, one that I could not shake for the life of me, despite my many attempts to employ all of the tools that I have gathered through the years.
I simply had to go through my funk, like it or not. Sometimes the FUNK is right where its at. Here, I have a choice to take my lament as an opportunity to feel, reflect and hopefully grow, rather than HATE where I am, and try to run away, blame or change it.
There are beautiful lessons everywhere.
Happily I snapped out of it a few days ago, and not a moment too soon, cause while I can learn, I don’t glean satisfaction out of my misery, and I did at one time. I know a lot of people who still do, and my heart goes out to them, because it does not have to be that way.
I have gotten a little more focused in my meditations, meaning that I am setting intentions, and am attempting to focus, rather than just sitting there.
I want to say a few things on meditation. It like everything is a process, and for me, is evolving all of the time.
When I first started to meditate, I could hardly sit there without my mind going 90 to nothing, thought after thought went by, in the most unrelenting way. I found that through practice, and watching my thoughts, and asking for feedback from others who were further along in the journey of meditation, that it is quite difficult to sit. The thoughts are always there, and that the practice of learning how to stay, is just the beginning. Beginnings by the way, can last a very long time.
Over the years, I have tried a lot of meditation techniques. There are so many, and they are all designed to get you to a place where you can find stillness, tap into the intelligence and gain insight. There is no one way, or wrong way to meditate.
Sometimes I can actually listen to the silence, and when this happens, it delights me. Most of the time however, I watch my thoughts until the timer goes off.
I feel connected and more grounded when I do my practice, even when my mind is extra noisy. I do know, that something shifts when I practice regardless what my brain tells me.
Setting an intention, helps to bring about focus, and it can bring me to a deeper understanding of where my mind is.
In these strange times, I am committed to seeing love, beauty, joy, prosperity and abundance. I not only see this for myself, I see it for the world.
There are so many changes taking place in the world, and everyone is feeling it. When I hear fear come from people, I hope to send love.
The more willing I become to leg go of my own fears, I can honestly do this.
So the practice goes on, and I continue my interesting and strange journey.
love and hugs to you <3