start over NOW
My day started at about 4 30, and not too badly considering that I woke every hour on the hour post 12 30 when I lay down to sleep. I was restless, and having strange strange dreams. I won’t go into them now, but needless to say, I don’t feel adequately rested.
Still, I was very excited to get into my studio this morning, because I got some new gesso, an artist medium that is really thick white paint. Well, the thing was vacuum sealed, and I could not get it open. I tried patiently, and I tried many ways, when I finally got frustrated and slammed it down like a spoiled brat.
Well, the container opened alright, it went splat all over my face, in my hair, but thankfully not on my shirt, or I would have really been mad. So I stomped inside to clean the mess off my face, and coffee was all over the floor, because I had not put the coffee pot in securely enough, so coffee everywhere, paint everywhere. Deep cleansing breaths came only after the explatives that I fervently yelled.
Sadly this happened AFTER my meditation, my peaceful meditation…
This month, I have made changes to my teaching schedule. I changed the time of my sunday morning class. It was form 10 30 am to 12, and I have moved it to 9 am, this was scheduled to be in effect next sunday October 12th, and was on the printed schedule, but was not on the website, SO guess what happened.
Several people showed up at 9 and I was not there to greet them. OH MY GOSH HOW HORRIBLE!!!
I got this phone call telling me the news, and asking where I was. Of course I was thrown into a temporary panic, dropping whatever I was doing, rushing to get there, beating myself up for this mishap, and having richious indignation at once, because “I was very specific about starting the second week of October, and why was it incorrect on the site????” Trying to explain this over the phone at this time was futile. The two schedules were incorrect, because of miscommunication, that’s all, and really it was OK, not the end of the world
Yes, I mentioned this, but I had meditated. Where was the peaceful state, the bliss, cause I was not feeling it.
Finally I collected myself, and was able to get past my ineffective thinking and attitude, and be present to those who came. THANK YOU so much you guys, for being understanding! I ended up teaching two classes, because at 10 30 some students showed up, and did so joyfully.
One thing on meditation. Meditating does not necessarily make things more peaceful, it brings about space, and makes you present to what is real and right in front of you. Hopefully in stressful situations, you can draw on the practice, and not fall apart, or at least for not too long. Just the act of sitting there with the intention of meditating is, I believe, touching something deep, and is asking the strong mind to change rout. Sometimes things take time. One thing is for sure, we are not always going to feel peace, and yet the peace is always available to us. It is about tapping into it.
All is well now, but I plan to start over fresh and new, and am going to check out for a bit. Sleep works wonders on the mind, and the nervous system. So off I go to tap in…